Nurturing and growing our relationships with our partners and ourselves is a daily decision. It’s no secret that a physical connection is incredibly important to have with our romantic partners, but it’s also something we must have with our own bodies. 

But how can masturbation assist with this connection? It’s incredible just how much can be obtained when we take time to enjoy the big ‘O’.

Libido - Why has it decreased? 

Before we dive into masturbation and increasing your libido - it’s important to first state that there’s a variety of different reasons someone may experience a decreased libido. In some instances it’s not a matter of simply not ‘exercising’ pleasure but could be a byproduct of a medical condition or medications. If that’s you, masturbation as a part of your regular schedule may not be as beneficial and you should consult with your doctor about ways that can assist.

Did you know: Testosterone, which is directly linked to your libido, rises during sex and masturbation and then returns to normal after orgasm. It was also proven that T levels do not lower the more you masturbate, contrary to some popular beliefs. 

When we don’t indulge in masturbation or sex for long periods of time it can be difficult to get our libido back to where it once was! You may have also had a large life change or new stressors introduced that have stripped you of your sex drive. Even something as simple as aging can prove new challenges for our libido! It’s important to understand this is all normal and everyone will go through periods like this during their lifetime. It can be particularly rough when we have a romantic partner that has an increased libido compared to our own. 

Masturbation - How can it help? 

Sometimes when masturbation is viewed as an act of self care instead of waiting to feel ‘in the mood’, we can better connect with ourselves. Finding time to touch ourselves and use toys for reasons other than simply getting to the big ‘O’ (like sleep assistance, stress relief, mood booster) reconnects you further with your body and your pleasure. My personal favorite to bring into your routine no matter your genitals is the Palm Sense by Blush. It produces powerful vibrations anywhere you desire and can be used for a calming massage to relax you before the act, too. 

Give yourself a challenge to orgasm every day for a week! Or try a new toy each month! However you choose to give yourself that time, returning back to your pleasure and making it a part of your ‘to-do’ (hehe) list can assist with increasing your personal libido.

Meeting Your Partner Where They’re At

It never feels good when you aren’t on the same page as your partner, especially in regards to sex. But remember, masturbation can help! Whether you’re the one with the increased libido and don’t want to put the pressure on your partner, or whether you want to work to increase your own sex drive - grab a toy!

Written by Tawney Seren, sex educator, blogger & author.